Inspirational Coffee Talk

In a recent conversation with a friend about missing the integrity in relationships, I was reminded that any relationship is simply a reflection of ourselves. Other people mirror back things that we like (or don’t like so much) about ourselves. (It’s rule #7 in The Rules for Being Human by Cherie Carter-Scott.) I made the comment to my friend that perhaps she wasn’t missing integrity in other people, but simply missing integrity in her life. She casually responded, “Look, I don’t hang out with losers.”

I laughed and said, “That’s right, you don’t!”

Even though we were talking about ’someone else’ the truth is that sometimes we need to be reminded that we are at the heart of it all. When we get frustrated in being around people who do not inspire us, who take advantage of us, who does us an injustice, it is up to us to first look at ourselves and say, “Hey, where am I allowing this? What am I telling myself…about myself…that would allow this experience to affect me?”

It was a great reminder for me to see where I was integrity with myself. Was I walking my talk? Taking care of myself? Being honest with myself…and others? Was I rationalizing that I didn’t have time to take care of myself and that I’d get to it ‘later’? It’s too easy to project our own stuff onto others and then blame them for affecting our lives.

I suggested that indeed, she did NOT hang out with losers and that starting her day off with me over coffee was in fact showing excellent taste and a high level of value for herself. (And YES, I DO value myself enough to say so!)

How do you start your day?