How to Create Instant Credibility and Connection in Your Relationships

When was the last time you innocently enough said to someone, “It’s great to see you. Let’s get together for lunch soon,” and then never phoned. Or how about telling your significant other you really need some time together to “connect” and somehow it just never seems to happen? Meetings run late, the kids have a soccer game, family commitments get in the way and life in general seems to stop you from ever making the call and the time, or taking the action you said you would.

It happens to all of us. The truth is, not making the call, the time or taking the action ruins our credibility and sabotages our connections in relationships.

Why is that important? Your credibility influences how much others will communicate with you authentically, cooperate with you, learn from you, be influenced by you and connect with you.

Come on, remember the last time your significant other said they were going to do something for you and they didn’t? Be honest, you’ve got that time stacked up with all the other skeletons in the closet just waiting to remind them of their failure the next time they make the offer.

It doesn’t matter if you are male or female. To create instant credibility and connection there are 9 little letters that represent the key to any relationship.

DWYSYAGTD.

Do. What. You. Say. You. Are. Going. To. Do.

If you say you are going to call…CALL.

If you say you are going to start spending more time together…just the two of you, GO ON A DATE NIGHT.

If you say you are going to work at creating more balance in your life…PRACTICE. Identify where you feel out of balance and do SOMETHING to help you relieve stress, spend more time with the kids, pay more attention to your spouse.

If you say you are going to stop overextending yourself so that you don’t feel so exhausted and taken for granted at the end of the day…start saying NO.

I realize that actually doing what you say you are going to do can seem, at times, overwhelming. We often say we are going to do something in a spontaneous moment of reaction. We want to be nice. We mean it in the moment. We know that if we tell someone what they want to hear, we increase the chance of them liking us or of receiving a positive response.

It is often more compelling for us to say we are going to do something, even if we do not follow through with it, than to stop for a moment, give the idea or request some honest consideration, and say we are NOT at that time.

When we don’t do what we say we are going to do, we lose credibility and integrity.

That works in at least two ways.

1.Doing what you say you are going to do, first and foremost, starts with YOURSELF.

We must remember that other people are merely reflections of us. We cannot like or dislike something about someone else without liking or disliking that same thing about ourselves.

So instead of projecting our own anger or disappointment at ourselves onto someone else, which usually doesn’t make someone else feel very good, we begin by being honest with ourselves and take the responsibility for correcting our own behavior first.

Why do we do blame others? Because it takes great courage to look at oneself, to acknowledge that we are not perfect and run the risk of self-disappointment.

2.When WE do what we say we are going to do, we gain credibility and with ourselves, which models to others a standard to aspire to.

Social psychologists have shown that we normalize to our environment. If our environment and our choices are filled with blame, guilt, resentment and incongruencies, others will respond to that in kind. On the flip side, when we make choices that are responsible, trustworthy, open and honest, others will begin to model that behavior as well.

Seriously, who wants to live a life feeling unfulfilled? Like they can’t do anything right? Feeling constantly guilty or resentful?

No matter how small you think something is, if you say you’re going to do it, start practicing now. You will build credibility and connection faster in all your relationships than you ever imagined.

For more than 20 years, Jenn Kaye, founder of Touch with Intention™ and Head-On Communications™ International, has helped individuals around the world to get more of what they value most in their lives and relationships – with less stress and more fun. She has been has been seen and heard on NBC Radio, Good Morning Arizona, Sonoran Living, RealTime Moms, BabyFirst TV, and quoted in dozens of publications including Femina, India's leading women's magazine and The Inspiration Journal. Receive her FREE e-newsletter, visit www.LifeHeadOn.com or contact Jenn at (602) 403-3500.

Sword Fighting & Life: by Jim Gasser

Sword fighting and Life by Jim Gasser

Most Warriors are made.
Some are born.
A few have always known

Sword fighting and life, while on the surface appearing diametrically opposed, are in fact, parallel paths. Sword fighting in its purest form is the taking of life. There was no other reason to pick up a sword. Through the Path of the Sword we discover the true Path of Life. We slice away at the very layers that cloud our true purpose-Enlightenment. The principles and foundations of sword fighting are congruent with those of life.

Why does the sword feel so natural within our grasp? It is a symbol, a reminder of our past. Today, the sword is not the sword of the past, an instrument of death; the sword has become a tool for our enlightenment.

With the correct mind, any endeavor or action can lead to enlightenment.

The style that I pursue is one of basics and practicality. I have found it is best to embrace simplicity as the cornerstone of sword fighting and life.

We fight with swords because it is who we once were and will ultimately define who we become.

Fighting is a progression and must be approached as such. To leap over or ignore the fundamentals will result in weakness, false hope, and ultimately defeat. Fighting is form following function. No superfluous, wasted movements. Our movements are timeless. They have always been.

We must continue to question the strength and integrity of the bridge, until one has crossed over it and come back.

I often speak of what lies within us as something eternal. I believe that our concept of death occurs as we conceive it. Under no circumstances do I think that we truly know and understand the concept, which we call death. Until one has crossed over the bridge and come back, it is nothing but conjecture.

(It is my theory that God would not allow us to have this insight until we have evolved enough to grasp it. At this point in our existence, if there were complete certainty as to the concept of afterlife and a closer relationship with God, why would we choose to remain in this life? Our evolution would never occur if we walked like lemmings into the water.)

Anyone can pick up a sword and swing it. Sword fighting by its very nature embraces simplicity. A child can grasp a sword and begin the dance. As we grow older, we forget these deep- rooted, natural movements. The timeless, simplicity of the sword’s lesson is replaced by the complexity of life. We have become distracted by the race.